hearts all over the world tonight

_{"Had an x-ray done today and they found you in my heart. The doctor said that if they took you out, I would die, because I couldn't live with out such a good friend. Give this heart to everyone you don't want to lose in 2012 including me if you care. Try to collect twelve, it is not easy. Be honest and send this to anyone who made you smile this year."}

Okay, so normally idgaf about chain letters but since GUNOUFLAGE put a much more sentimental spin off this one, I feel like I should do the same and actually sit down and thank a lot of the friends I've made throughout this past year. Especially since I've been going through some rough family issues these past few months, I'm just really thankful to all the people who've just been there to make me laugh at any time of day.

I'm sure many of you remember the whole Social Network personifications I did like almost two years ago, yeah? Well even though it was well received, I still got a lot of backlash  and it really affected my overall motivation to draw anything really. Because no matter what I drew afterward, people over tumblr and dA pegged me for just drawing certain things just to gain popularity. And because of those accusations, I stopped drawing for awhile and hit a slump. Even when I tried to draw, I just didn't enjoy anything and I stopped talking to a lot of people around that time too because I just got seriously depressed over my own incompetence. It really didn't help that I even shut myself in IRL too.

It wasn't until I came back on dA and found RP groups that I started socializing on the net again and I'm truly thankful to everyone who helped me get over most of my social anxieties. Now my mom complains about how I laugh too much instead of sleeping too much

BUT ANYWAYS TIME TO GET A LITTLE MORE PERSONAL WITH THIS WORD GUSH UH----- in no particular order I'd really like to address the following people:

1) Emi

EMIIIIIIIIIIII
I don't know what it is about you but I feel the most comfortable talking to you. Like I absolutely have no beef with you and I think we just click? I honestly have no idea how it all happened but I remember when I first saw your app in Milizia I was like, "GAWSH I NEED TO RP WITH THIS PERSON " And surprisingly Richard and Oli hit it off really well and I was just so surprised how like I teared up during that mission RP and how open they were with each other. Like seriously bffs and that's how I feel towards you.

I remember that one time I just felt seriously depressed ahaha how many times have I felt down before though and you tried cheering me up with a drawing of Oli and Richard and I just literally bawled when I saw it. You are the sweetest fucking person ever, Emi. Seriously, and when the whole shit happened with my dad again on my sister's birthday, you went out of your way to draw something for her too. I just-- I really don't know what to say to you when you're just so saintly like that, man. Like I don't feel like my thanks is enough nor do I feel like any of the drawings I chuck out for you is ever enough either. And idk, I feel like I'm a sucky ass friend cos I'm shit with words so I don't feel like I'm ever doing a good job at cheering you up whenever talk to me gdgdfds

I'm just really thankful you're here and honestly, if I hadn't met you, I don't know if I'd actually feel this comfortable with anybody else? You were the only person I felt at ease talking to whenever shit with my dad went down. idk, I always feel too scared to bother others with this shit but with you I feel it's really okay? You just have this really calming effect and I'm glad you're here, Emi wow I'm like so gross

2) Dashi

Hi Dashi

LMAO We don't talk much, but it's not like I talk to people a whole lot out of dA chatrooms anyway

B U T I would totally love to thank you for making Milizia. I've been in the group for almost a year now and I've had my ups and downs within the group but I'm thankful I stayed and put out a bunch for the group. Milizia became my comfort zone, my outlet, and getaway from bullshit everywhere else LOL Thank you for making this group because I wouldn't have found the friends I do now without it. I feel like overall, it's changed me for the better. So you should be proud people find some sentimental value in this group, yo!

3) Meatchokers (y'all know who you are) + other Milizia/MAGE/CV/WHATEVER OTHER GROUPS I'M IN peeps

I would address everyone individually but dear god that would be so many people to list out HAVE MERCY ON MY HANDS

But yoooooo just thank you guys for always being on chat and just there to RP whenever. Thank you for all the lulzy and fun as fuq RPs. Y'all are the reason why I laugh my head off at ass o' clock. No regrets I seriously just wish we could all meet up one day cos all of you are just a lovely bunch of people. Particular shoutout to chiyoppoi, Onsta, ae-rie, and mellymerry. Y'all are a real fun bunch. Thanks for the RPs, fun shit, and just being there, occasionally trying to reach out even if I've got an impenetrable bubble set up But I really do appreciate everything! I'd probably go crazy without you guys.

4) THE PEOPLE WHO I ALWAYS RECOMMEND AS STAFF EVERYWHERE I GO

You bros are like literally the coolest folks. I've admired you guys from afar for awhile now and I'm still surprised you guys were willing to join the staff I was in when we all barely knew each other I'm quite honored to work along side you guys and it's been a real delight working closely on BP and VT with you guys. And now we're all on staff in Milizia together too

Particular shoutout to Takkun who I've known since like 2009. I've always thought you were cool beans which is why I'd always draw you freebies on Solia LMAO And I felt intimidated by you for that same reason too /shot But ahhhhh I think you're real chill and pleasant to talk to. Granted, we haven't really talked that much but the occasional chit-chats are always nice I'd definitely like to talk to you more if I wasn't so awkward That's probably one of the biggest reasons why I don't really message people privately cos I have no idea how to keep a one on one conversation going gfdiogjfdgds But A U G H thanks for being awesome and I'm sorry I'm so awkward W E E P S Like when I first found your tumblr after abajillion years I was like and then when I found out you were a part of RP groups on dA I was like Was always too intimidated to join MM though so when we got the chance to join other groups and work together, I was really excited since I just want to talk to you a little more Baby steps

5) Guia

GUIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hi, we don't talk much either

B U T I definitely wasn't lying about how I totally admired your stuff for MM when you first came into Milizia chat. You put out some pretty cool stuff for that group that actually made me wish I wasn't too intimidated to join LOLSOB like idk, kinda like how you said my stuff made you want to join, it's the same with yours. When I lurked through your gallery I was like, "Oh man this person is so beast oh man oh man " You make awesome OCs too though, man!

I'm really happy you took that step forward to join Milizia though since I still don't know about joining MM But I'm glad we get to work on Milizia together and we're in 26L together too! _{And you bet I'm interested in joining WOW okay} Thank you for drawing my boys and RPing with me! I look forward to RPing, working with you, and talking to you more in the future, you're quite fun and easy to talk to

6) Kiho

Bro, I've known you like since forever

But even though we've known each other for years, we don't actually talk to each other that much LOL But it's a mutual thing though, yeah? It's like I still consider you a pretty chill bro despite not actually being close. And I feel like it's more like if we were really in a deep hole, ranting on some place online, we'd toss each other a thoughtful message, y'know? I find you a really fun person to talk to, rant with, and work along side with. Like idk, we sorta have this co-worker relationship but that's not particularly a bad thing since hell, at least we work pretty efficiently together. And after all the groups I've been in, I'm glad I get to work with you again on two other groups. You're really reliable and I'm glad I've got somebody by my side to make all this work a little less painful and a bit more enjoyable

7) Philsterman, MooseOfFate + the rest of his dubbing team

omg I can't thank you guys enough for dubbing both my Milizia and Cellvation comics I'm really thankful you guys enjoy all these original characters and the things I draw them in enough to actually want to dub them, it amazes me really. It really makes my day whenever I see a new dub of my comics up. I can't help but smile and laugh and just keep rewatching until I get my fill for the day LOL But thank you for your efforts and hard work!

And I think that's all------

......I can't believe that took like 2 hours to type out wow I feel so gross pls smack me you guise